Are you worried about what everyone thinks?

Does the fear of other people's criticism or judgment weigh you down? Are you worried about what everyone thinks? Does it prevent you from doing what you really want to do? Does it leave you feeling insecure and uncertain?

If this sounds like you, you’re certainly not alone! This is a common concern that creates a lot of anxiety and difficulty for many people...

From an evolutionary perspective, there is an intelligence to this sort of fear. There was a time in our early evolution when being 'outside the group' meant certain death. You simply couldn’t survive on your own 30,000 years ago, you needed help. You needed to fit in. Back then it was necessary to be concerned about how you appeared to others, It really was life or death. With this understanding then, we can start to see that humans have an evolutionary blueprint that steers us to 'fit in'... But let's catapult right back to the modern-day. In today's world, you don’t have to rely on a village of people to feed you, or to keep you safe. You can travel. You can buy food at the supermarket. You don’t need a group to tend the fire and build the shelter. Those days are over...

Now I totally get that you want to have positive social contact in your life, I get it. But it's almost certainly not life or death simply because society has outgrown the life or death need to fit in, but sometimes your brain might get stuck in this highly activated fear response! AND you guessed it, you know it.... this does NOT serve you in today's world! Here's the thing.... when you stop being overly concerned about what others think, you will open up to a whole new level of freedom to live the life that you want to live! Here are some straight-talking ideas to keep in mind, that will support you on the journey to living your own life on your own terms: 1. Almost everyone is wrapped up in their own experience. For the most part, people are not wondering what you're doing, how well you're doing, and why you're doing it. In reality, most people have other concerns that take priority for them... 2. The smoke clears. Even if you get everyone’s tongues wagging about your relationship breakdown, that time you were drunk, a job loss, or whatever really... everyone will move on. Life moves on, things change, the smoke will clear. In a while, people will just get back to their own priorities... 3. Regardless of what you do, some people will approve, and some others won't. ● You’ll receive compliments on your new car from some people, others will look down on you for making what they consider to be a frivolous purchase. ● Lose 50 pounds and you’ll receive compliments from some, others will tell you that you look unhealthy and should see a doctor. ● You could donate to a charity and someone somewhere will be upset that you donated to the 'wrong' charity. ● You adopted a cat? You should’ve gotten a dog. ● You saw Beyonce? Their music stinks. ● You can’t please everyone. Ever. 4. No one knows what's best for you, only you do. And let's be honest even you struggle from time to time to work out what's best for you, but you definitely have a better idea than your mate at work, or your Aunt.... or well anyone else really! 5. It gets easier. Once you stop basing your choices on the opinions of others, you're well on the right track to getting to know yourself better and feeling more confident in your choices! It really does get easier over time. Now then, I've been supporting people with this for long enough to know that you may already know a lot of these 'straight talking' ideas, right? But you're just not able to get past the fear, you're not able to shake the worry, or the people pleasing behaviours. I get it.

If you'd like support to go deeper with this, to look at the deeper root of this for you, I'd love to hear from you. You can contact me at mcdonnellangela@hotmail.co.uk