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Facing the truth....

You might have spent a long time trying to 'deal with' your difficulties. But what does that really mean? It often means that you've been trying to get past the struggle, trying to 'think positive', concealing or covering up the wound, hurt, or disappointment.

I propose another way...

The opposite of denial, sidestepping, covering up, or leaning on positive thinking that you don't really believe... which all mask and skim over the truth. I propose courageously facing what is truly present. Facing what you've been trying to look away from. Facing what you've been trying to get past. Facing what you've been trying to deny.

Here's the thing, without truly facing what you're carrying inside, your emotional material is right there where you left it, untouched and unspoken, unmoving and largely 'stuck'. As long as you ignore those parts within, they will make their presence known by knocking on the door of your life, leaking out in angry outbursts, in mood swings, in overwhelm, relationship tensions, and more...

What I find is, that when you open the door and take a look, when you really say 'hello' to those difficult places, tender stories and hurts, that in time... there's movement. They relax and soften. Those parts of yourself want to be heard, felt and seen. Yes, even if those parts are scared, even if they've been hurt... they want you to integrate them!

Change occurs not from a process of force or will, but from making space to courageously soften to and look at 'what is', to what is real. When client's come to me, I support them to look at 'what is real' and we look at the stories and feelings that are in the way, supporting and nurturing an inner acceptance and kindness. The paradox I find, is that when you open to the fullness of the truth within you, with acceptance of what is, then you create the conditions for natural, authentic, and deep inner change.

Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology says "when I fully accept myself just as I am, then I can change"... and this rings true for me and for a great many number of my clients ...

If anything here rings true for you, if you're curious to find out more, or to go deeper with this, you can contact me at

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