Have you identified you core values? Without this self-knowledge you may create a life and build relationships that leave you feeling depleted and unhappy...
What are values? And why should you identify yours?
Your values are the things that are most important to you, in your friendships, relationships, life, and work.
Sadly it's true that many people build their lives, create relationships and commit to careers that are not in alignment with their core values, and they end up feeling unhappy. If you're reading this perhaps this resonates with you ?
You may have achieved what you thought you 'should' achieve in life according to society's values, or someone else's? Perhaps you built your life without an awareness of what YOU really want? Your life might look good on the outside, but if it isn't in alignment with your core values then you'll most likely feel dissatisfied with the way things are, and also uncertain about your direction and how to make positive changes.
If you haven't already, maybe now is the time to look at your values? When you identify what it is that feels purposeful and meaningful to you, when you know what YOUR values are, not what other people's values are, or what other people think your values should be, not inherited values from your parents or caregivers... YOUR values !! Then you can decide what really counts to you, and you can make more confident changes in that direction.
Identify and create a list of your core values. Create a long list and include everything that you think applies to you. Then reduce your list to the ten values that are most important to you. You might struggle to narrow your list to just ten, but ten values are plenty.
Determine if you have any conflicts. You might say that adventure and freedom are two of your most important values, how do they sit together? Perhaps you value both responsibility and security, are they in conflict? When you're faced with tension between two values, it's possible that you feel overwhelmed and indecisive, and then do nothing. Think back to when you've struggled to make a decision and see if it's true for you.
Order of priority. Reorder your value list in order of priority. Prioritising will help you allocate your energy and commitment to the most important aspects that will have the biggest payoff in your life. When you find yourself in a value conflict you'll also remember which values carry the most impact and this will make your decision-making clearer.
Create an action plan for each value. Actively plan to incorporate your values into your life. For example, if one of your values is friendship you might plan more time for socialising. If generosity is a priority then you might find an enjoyable way to spend your time helping others. If health is a value you might join a yoga class, or a running club.
Remind, reflect and assess. Make a habit of reading your list of values every morning when you wake up, print out your values and keep them close to you, or set reminders on your phone. At the end of each day reflect on the times when you were acting in line with your values and contemplate the times that you didn't manage to. What new behaviours do you want to repeat and commit to, and what could you have done differently?.
Thank you for reading my first blog. I hope you found some insight or mini actions that will support you. If you found this valuable or insightful, or if you'd like some further support, please do get in touch with me at mcdonnellangela@hotmail.co.uk
